Dahn Sahf

Not so long ago I took a week-long journey to the south of England. Catching the bus to London, I got myself mixed up at the service station somewhere near Milton Keynes & got back on the wrong bus. By the time I got to London, pandemonium was about to kick off as a bird on the original bus – which had all my bags – stupidly quipped that I had said my bags contained a bomb. Security staff were just about to shut down Victoria station when I turned up demanding my bags & professing, ‘Im not a terrorist, Im from Burnley.’Not long after, I caught up with me old pal, Charlie, who put me up at his penthouse suite in Tulse Hill.

Charlie Fairclough
Charlie Fairclough

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The Old Bailey
The Old Bailey

Next day I was down to Brighton for a few days stay at the lovely pad of Jo, a girl Id met in Goa. The first night she took me to Tulley’s Farm Shocktober experience, & O my god it was well scary, hoods being put on yer head & led through tunnels full of chainsaw wielding psycopaths… genuinely unnerving.

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After partying with another bird Id met in Goa – the lovely Lula (I think she was number 8 or 9) – I got a wee Mumble mission, unearthing Brightons theaters, before setting off north Jo dropped me off at Crowborough. From there I walked a 7 mile hike along memory land, to Tunbridge Wells, the town where I began work on Axis & Allies back in 2001. It was cool, actually, for I was working on the final draft of the Jesus Jigsaw in the libraries of the south, & it was great to tinker with it in the town where I first took my writing seriously.

Pantiles, Royal Tunbridge Wells
Pantiles, Royal Tunbridge Wells
Clapham Library
Clapham Library
Hammersmith Bridge
Hammersmith Bridge

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Back in London, I had one last night with Charlie & set off walking to Victoria. En route, I stopped at the Latchmere theatre, near my old squat on Dorothy Road, Clapham, and mentioned I might be interested in sending some reviewers in. ‘Who are you’ they asked, ‘the Mumble’ I replied, ‘sure, you gave us our first five star review up in Edinburgh this August.’ That was a moment of pure serendipity, & I didint have the heart to tell them Divine – who reviewed the play – gave everyone 5 stars he so bloody hippyfied!

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