Hulk-Hands, Hounds & Hopping Starters

Yesterday was one of those fun days you have from time to time. After a lazy morning with mi lass we met a few folk on Dalmeny Street Park, our local spot of greenery in Edinburgh. Two days previously I had been babysitting the Bendrix’s daughter, who likes the wicked playpark in the park. This takes up half of the park, the other being the meeting point for local dog owners, who love letting their pets off the leash to run around in a butt-sniffing canine commingling. Anyhow, while Rocket – the bendrix’s half spaniel half labrador, concieved unexpectedly at last years audio soup – was running about, one of the aforesaid dog-owners noised me up about the forthcoming SCRUFTS. This information proved priceless & two days later we were back at the park, with the Bendrix in a highly competetive mood – he even came second in the human throwing contest!

Ben, Rocket & Jessica are to the left of the girl in green
Ben, Rocket & Jessica are to the left of the girl in green

For a small donation, each dog was allowed unlimited entry to the events & also a bag of home-made doggy sweets. Rocket was entered into every competion, not winning anything but coming a creditable third in the Waggy Tail Contest! Still, he’s only a pup, & the Bendrix already has a strict training regime lined up for the next 12 months. While all this was happening, I was sharing around my birthday gin. I turned 37 last Tuesday, an awkward day for a rave, but in the middle of two weekends. The first I’d spent at Eden festival, only a few miles from the old Jock Stock site, & indeed full of Jockstockers. It was a great old time, my highlight being COLONEL MUSTARD & THE DIJONS, a band straight from the Happy Monday’s School of Rock. My actual birthday treat was a trip to the Cameo to see the Stone Roses movie, while the following Saturday found me eating a fine Indian meal home-cooked by Ellie’s pal, Clare.


After SCRUFTS was finished, me & Ellie traversed town to spend the rest of the day with her dad – it was father’s day after all. The whole family is tennis mad, & we watched And Murray win the Queen’s Club tournament, which meant everyone was in a great mood. A taxi ride later & we were in the New Town & the Chez Jules restaurant for some proper tasty French cuisine. It was time to try – for the first time in my life, mind, the very famous ‘cuisses de grenouille’ – i.e. Frog’s Legs. This was followed by côte de beouf (steak) avec pommes dauphinnoise (creammy potatoes) & in due course my opinion of the French changed completely – these guys can cook!


Finally on the drunken, full-bellied walk home, I came across a couple of hulk Smash hands, which amused me no-end as I punched walls on the way home, the hands & shaking calling out stuff like, ‘Hulk SMAASSSHHHH….. Dont make me angry, you wont like it when Im angry!” Brilliant. At one point I was walking passed some pikeys in a wee park, did the smash & suddenly one of them came running out to fight me, taking up a ninja pose only a few feet away. However, he soon saw saw the gloves & on showing them their comedy capacities we were soon the best of friends!


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